Sometimes when I start to think about starting a church in Denver, it seems like it is only a dream. It seems like it is at least a decade away, so why worry. Then there are other times, the other night for instance, when it seems like it is going to happen tomorrow.
When I am really honest with myself, there are some things about this that really scare me. What happens if something happens, and none of you are able to go? What happens if we get there, but we can never find a place to meet? What happens if I can't get some job that will be flexible with hours, or if Robin can't get a job? What happens... The thing is, there are quite a few things that scare me about all this, and I think that is normal. This week, I just want to invite all of you to share what scares you about it.
Or if you would rather talk about wisdom, here is the proverb that I thought you may like this week. "The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit." Prov. 18:21
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I am right there with you. When I think about how close this is to actually happening, I can get terrified if I let myself. I get scared about not finding a job I like or one that pays enough or getting a job at all. What if we can't find anywhere to live or what if I don't find a job for a long time? How will our community come together? Will I be as comfortable with this community as I was with the one in Brownwood? I think about all of these things and get scared. I will be taken out of my comfort zone and that always scares me. But honestly, I know that I need that. God has always taught me alot when He takes me out of my comfort zone and He has also been teaching me over the past couple years about not letting fear take over. It's a hard lesson to learn and clearly I still have a loooong way to go, but mixed in with the fears that I continually have to turn over to God is great excitement about the ways He will work through all our fears. I'm excited about the adventure ahead of us.
Haha... about the tongue... ironically, I could talk for awhile about this subject, but I will try to shorten my soapbox. It's funny... being a very shy person my whole life through, I have always been told to learn to be a little more open and talk more. Now that I have come to a place in my life where I do feel more comfortable talking to all sorts of people and the amount, volume and subject of all my talking has increased; it is now that I am realizing the beauty in a quiet, thoughtful mouth that is able to listen more than talk. Now time to learn to control my tongue in a different way.... funny how that works..
And following up last post... I am very thankful for all of you and for all that God has already done in bringing us together... I can't wait!
Thanks for sharing that bethany, it is hard to share our fears, as evidenced by no one else sharing... anyway, I can't wait either, this last part of school will be torture.
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